To the cross

I've had it all in this world, all this world can offer.

I had enough fish to eat, and some to sell. I had -- have -- a wife and a couple kids. I had a home when so many around me didn't. I've had all this world can offer. I've been free. I've been enslaved to the Romans. I've done all I could with all I had.

And I had him.

For three years, I walked the paths with him. I washed with him. I cried a couple times with him. I laughed and laughed and laughed with him. I fed 5,000 with him. Did you read that? I fed 5,000 with him. Oh, and we did it with a few fish and a few loaves of bread. And everyone had plenty. That was him. Him.

Him.

Late last night, despite all he had done for me and all he had taught me and all his love and forgiveness, I denied him. I said... I said I didn't even know him.

I didn't know him.

I followed him as best I could late into the night till that Thursday became Friday. I saw the slaps. I saw them beat him. I saw how the "trials" were going to go. They were hurrying so as to not reach Sabbath with this hanging over them. They wanted to do what they were going to do immediately.

Today ... today I fear they will take him to the cross.

There is very little I truly could have done, but still, he is innocent of any crime. I should have stood there and said so.

I feared death more than I loved the light of the world.

That I will take to my death. Ironic isn't it?