Love does

         We are seated in a circle, nine of us, lambs to a, uh, lambs to a moment of clarity. We discuss the day’s topics as if we were here for no other reason on the planet, because we’re here for no other reason on the planet.

         I’m not sure how I continually get picked for these things, but I’m the “leader” of our group, so I am the one who prompts, facilitates, pushes, prods the conversation. All in all, I’d rather be massaging feet, but this is what they asked, and this is what they get.

         The first night was something akin to paddling quicksand to get something out of “my” folks. Last night was, well, easier.

         I began the conversation going clockwise, and riiiiiippppp they went.

         The obvious thing here is that we all have issues. Each of us. All of us. We have issues, and we’re – upon reflection – sort of ready to talk about them. So, talk about them we did. For an hour and a half.

         We talked, because we needed to talk.

         The question that prompted some of the exchange was “Do you think God loves you?”

         Sounds pretty easy, right? Of course God loves us. Of course we believe that. Of course.

         It wasn’t that easy or simple, because despite all the “sure, He does,” phrases, some weren’t quite so sure, not because of some sort of neglect by God but instead some mighty neglect by us. We have trouble believing God loves us because we see just how we’ve treated Him, and we have some fairly strong ideas about how we would treat someone who treats us like we treat Him. Got that? Yeah, didn’t think so.

         In other words, we treat Him so badly at times, how on earth (or in Heaven) could He treat us with love?

         It wasn’t get out on the ledge kind of treatment, but it was some deep, dark stuff we had to get out of us.

         So, we did, for an hour and a half.

         The neglect we feel about our relationship is sometime very deep. We’re not the most let’s-get-out-the-mug-shot-and-put-it-on-God’s-refrigeration kind of folks, it seems to me, much of the time.

         As long as I can remember, there have been issues with us. We walk for 40 years when we could have nailed that whole 40 days thing in the desert. We get the whole cross and criminal thing wrong. We stumble and fall with the frequency of divas.

         And it all comes down to love.

         Just love.

         Merely love.

         Love in the desert, on the road, in the house, love in our hearts and love, sweet wonderful love in our heads. Love with our spouse’s, our children, our neighbors, even Dear Lord, ourselves.

         Just love. Merely love. Maybe love.

         Stumbling, rumbling, fumbling love.

         Love in our days and our nights.

         Only time will tell if we ever, ever get that right.