Brian's Song and the torrent of tears

"I love Brian Piccolo. And I'd like all of you to love him, too. And tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him." Gayle Sayers, running back Chicago Bears

And that was the first time I cried at a movie, albeit a TV movie. I was a senior in high school when Brian's Song was aired. My recollection was that the movie played late on the night of Nov. 30, 1971 my Senior year. I think all those Tuesday night movies of the week did for some reason. The local channels in my hometown of Meridian, Miss. did for some reason play shows later than their planned starting time often. I don't remember if I ever knew why. But my memory, certainly not what it once was, tells me it was late in the evening when I saw this. It as also late in the evening when I first saw All in the Family, but I digress.

I stayed up with my little  black and white television in my room and watched this movie that I had no idea of its subject matter. As I recall, it simply was exciting to stay up later than normal.

I was mesmerized. It was a football-related movie, so instantly I was enthralled. I didn't know the story after that, so I prepped for a late night knowing I would watch all of it.

The more I watched, the more I fell into its trance. I still believe it is the best TV movie of all time. But beyond it's greatness was its depth.

Somewhere in that movie, which is about bonding football roommates on the Chicago Bears Brian Piccolo and Gayle Sayers (my favorite running back of all time) I lost my heart to it.

The story was this: Piccolo died of cancer at the age of 26. Piccolo was a good running back, drafted by the Bears after leading the nation in rushing his senior year. He was white. The two players were positional rivals, and the first interracial roommates on the Bears. Piccolo parodied the periods racial tensions with a subversive sense of humor. Once asked what Piccolo and Sayers talked about on the road. He said, "Oh, the usual racist stuff. He calls me by my nickname, Honky. We get along fine as long as he doesn't use the bathroom. He sleeps in the lampshade.

Understand that at the time of the movie, it was almost a national rule that grown men don't cry. You held in your emotions. You kept your emotions in check. Heck, you weren't even supposed to have any emotions. Sometimes after Piccolo's diagnosis, he reportedly told his wife, Joy, "you can't cry. It's a league rule."

In a 2008 interview for the Archive of American Television, screenplay writer William Blinn was asked about the movie's legacy. "It's easy," he replied instantly. "I can't tell you how many times guys have said to me, 'That's the first time I cried around other guys.' That sounds stupid. And it is to some degree. And now it's on television as a cliched joke, and that's OK, I got no problem with that. But there's something to be said for that. (Actor) Kurt Russell said 'I'd never cried at a movie before that picture.' Manipulative? Yeah, sure it is. Sentimental? Yes, sure it is. So what?"

All I know is as I watched this in my room, tears ran down my cheeks like summer rain. I've had that experience since at the movies ET and Field of Dreams and Hoosiers and a few others and previous to that as a child I wept openly at a viewing of Old Yeller. I recently saw three different trailer/teasers of the movie War Horse, which comes out on Christmas Day. I teared up at each of them. Sports and animal movies are wet shirt movies for me much of the time.  but there was nothing quite like Brian's Song in that regard. Steve Rushin of Sports Illustrated said before that movie men were known to have tear ducts but no one had actually seen them use them.

Cry. Me?

When Sayers (played by Billy Dee Williams) says that above quote, I was shaken to my core. I did some of those choke-tears where breath is a challenge you're crying so hard. I think I might even have made some noise. It was that sad.

In the New Testament lies the shortest verse in the Bible. In perspective, Jesus' friend Lazarus has just died. Jesus was away when word came to him of this event. He came, not rushing, but he came. He was too late, of course. We pick up this story there: "Where have you laid him," he asked. "Come and see, Lord, "they replied. Jesus wept. then the Jews said, "See how he loved him."

Jesus wept. There it is. Emotions on display. Though Jesus knew he would save his friend, knew he would return him intact from the dead, knew he would produce unimaginable joy, Jesus wept. The obvious question, then, is why. why would Jesus weep knowing what he knew?

I believe it was because Jesus knew what Lazarus would return to, a world without tears or better yet a world without love.

In Brian's Song, a black and white man lived and loved together. Maybe what we all cried for during a watching of that movie is our longing for a world where races get along, where men can give their all to whatever it is they do and still have time for family, a world where pain is secondary to rejoicing.

I think we call that world heaven.

Brian's Song lives on 40 years later. What a tribute to fellowship and friendship and living and dying the best we can. If you haven't seen it, find it, watch it (with Kleenex in hand).