Worth more than rubies

This weekend I get to perform a wedding, my third since I arrived in Eunice, La., just six months ago. Tonight is the rehearsal. Tomorrow night the event. The church will be decorated for both wedding and Christmas, with flowers and lights dazzling us all, with the warmth of the season flowing over and around us.

I love what I do. I am so very blessed. I get to talk about love being a choice, not a feeling. I get to talk about how important that choice is. I get to talk about what illustrates love.

That is a perfect time to talk about my wife, Mary, again.

Proverbs says of a noble wife, "A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life."

Good, not harm, all the days of her life describes what Mary has done for me for the past 28 plus years. She is the one who lifts me, pushes me, helps and prays for me. Without her, well, I can't imagine life without her. She is the be-all for my life. Jesus is my all-in-all, but Mary is the human equivalent of that, though she would argue the point as she is as modest as she is loving.

Mary and I have a problem, though. Our marriage is not perfect. The problem we have, unfortunately, is me. I don't listen nearly often enough. I don't act on what she has said to me when I wasn't listening. I don't...as a rule.

When things go awry, it is because of what I have done or have not done. It is not because of who she is or what she has done or hasn't done. I'd like to say that wasn't true, but it is. She is, I am not.

Is she perfect? Well, no. She is allergic to housecleaning, literally. She crunches ice as if the amount of noise she makes is vitally important.

But is she perfect for me? Well, yes.

True story ... before I truly knew Mary, when I was in the depth of my affliction, I prayed (which I seldom did at the time) for God to send someone to me who would lift me out of the loneliness and depression I was sitting in. Like loneliness and depression was a mud hole and I could simply be lifted out of said state, I asked God to send me someone I could love.

Within a week, Mary (who worked at the same newspaper I did) and I went on a date to the Mississippi-Alabama State Fair in Jackson, Miss.

Now, did God send Mary to take care of me? I can't speak for the most powerful being in all the world.

But I can say that God's kindness changed my life. Mary and I went on one date, with one meal thrown in, and we've never truly been apart since. God's favor is my desire now.

Let me put it this way:
Without Mary, I would not be sober.
Without Mary, I would not have found Jesus.
Without Mary, I would not be a Christian, a believer in the way, the truth, the life.
Without Mary, I would not have thought to take our children to a certain church, which led me to meet the pastor who suggested at one point I explore the ministry.
Without Mary, I would not be a part of the ministry.
Without Mary, I would not be the pastor of three churches in the middle of the state of Louisiana.
Without Mary, I believe I would have been laid of or fired from The Times-Picayune when it dropped down from printing daily to three times a week.
Without Mary ...

See, I still believe in miracles. God sending just the right person at just the right time for just the right mission is, to me, a miraculous happening every bit as big as Red Sea parting. I'm not putting myself on a level with Moses. I'm putting the action of God changing lives on the same level as His dragging the Israelites out of Egypt. I was just as much a captive as was any of the Israelites.

A noble wife is worth more than rubies. I see it in her as she seeks the perfect gift for a grandchild, as she searches for the perfect gift for our kids. I see it in her as she speaks out at Bible studies, as she cares for persons at the three churches, as she prays for persons at the three churches.

She is a person of love, worth more than anything. If being a perfect wife has anything to do with making the perfect meal, perhaps Mary falls an inch or two short. But if love has anything to do with it, she's beyond perfect.

God knows her heart. I know her love. They are the same.