Friends are friends forever

Reading this morning, I came across this passage, which speaks to heartbreak and the loss of a good friend.

 

From 2 Samuel the first chapter, :So David said to the young man who told him, "How do you know that Saul and Jonathan his son are dead?" Then the young man who told him said, "As I happened by chance to be on Mount Gilboa, there was Saul, leaning on his spear; and indeed the chariots and horsemen followed hard after him. Now when he looked behind him, he saw me and called to me. And I answered, 'Here I am.' And he said to me, 'Who are you?' So I answered him, 'I am an Amalekite.' He said to me again, 'Please stand over me and kill me, for anguish has come upon me, but my life still remains in me.' So I stood over him and killed him, because I was sure that he could not live after he had fallen. And I took the crown that was on his head and the bracelet that was on
his arm, and have brought them here to my lord."

 

Then the Bible says, David "took hold of his clothes and tore them; and all the men who were with him did the same. They mourned and wept, and fasted until evening for Saul and for his son Jonathan."

 

 

I was so moved by this story, I wanted to do a diatribe on losing friends and grief, seeking advice to share from various sources, but I stopped because none of the advice of counselors seemed appropriate or deeply moving enough. Mostly they said get over it and move on. To me, there is more, much more to losing friendships.

 

Grief, particularly in losing someone you care about, is among the more difficult things one goes through. I have seen it with family members literally tear away one's emotional well-being as if it were thin paper. But one must go through it, because well, that's life. We do go through these things. And as the Bible says, we've all come to die. We will. And friendships, because we move on to new horizons, new jobs, new marriages, new children, new, new, new, sometimes move on to.

 

The best friendships, of course, are those that began early and continued late. As Stephen King once wrote in Stand By Me, "the best friendships you ever have are those you had when you were twelve."

 

The thing to do, it seems to me, is to cherish each and every moment you have of the friendship, then cherish each and every memory of the friendship.

 

Friends are a rare and valuable commodity, like flakes of gold when you've been mining quite a while..

 

I'm reminded of a very old Michael W. Smith song, called appropriately enough "Friends." It says that "friends are friends forever, if the Lord is Lord of them; and a friend will not say never, cause the welcome will not end; Thought it's hard to let you go, In the Father's hands I know, that a lifetime's not to long to live as friends."

 

When you have a friend, no matter how close you are to the friend, cherish that friendship. It's important, it's lasting, and often, very often, it is that thing that makes the insanity become sane.

 

David, soon to be king, wrote this as part of the "Song of the Bow," How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan lies slain upon your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women."

 

Deep, abiding friendship. Truly there is little to compare.  And often, there is little to grieve more deeply about.

 

That's life.