This time was different

The day dawned hot, hot as it could be without there being firetrucks on the way. I swear. I remember little except I had committed -- again -- to quit drinking. Drinkers, drunks, alcoholics, addicts of all kinds are the absolute kings of quitting. They quit like other people floss, sometimes as often. But not this time.

So, I quit drinking. I had done the last drink thing, gulping a bunch of (as I recall) rum the night before. Now, I was on to Oschner Hospital to check in to rehab. I was going to quit this time. Absolutely. I wanted to be sports editor of The Times-Picayune. I felt drinking was keeping me from it. In the words of a coward, I was gonna quit -- for sure, this time.

Addicts are the kings and queens of "this time."

This time will be different.
This time I'll show you.
This time I'll do something different.
This time.

I had said I would quit, as long as it didn't involve any of that church stuff. Really. I said that. I had had a dose of church with my mama's brand and I just didn't want anymore. If quitting meant that, well, it wasn't going to work. Not this time.

I wasn't gonna read no Bible, I said. Not this time.

Sometimes it is easy to cast aside our faith and say and think all the wrong things. Once forced to start looking at my own situation from another viewpoint, I read about Abraham and Sarah. "(They) were old by this time, very old. Sarah was far past the age for having babies. Sarah laughed within herself, 'An old woman like me? Get pregnant? With this old man of a husband."

Sarah, like me (or me like Sarah), couldn't get her drip of faith to line up with her faucet of grace.

I went to rehab, for what was an undetermined amount of time. Then as I recall, a hurricane was coming and they sent me out. The "old me" would have never gone back. The "new creature" as Paul describes us, after but four or five days, never quit going back.

Do I know what was different? Nope. Do I understand how much I have changed because of Jesus in 20 years? A bit. I'm not who I was. I'm still, still not who I'm going to be. 

But 20 years ago today I spent the first of what would be the next 7,303 days without a drink. Today I'm working on the 7,304th. I will pray that I make 7,305 tomorrow. And on and on we go. This time

Nothing is promised. Nothing is for sure. Nothing is timeless, except Him.

In the Message, King David wrote this: "Your truth never goes out of fashion; it's as up-to-date as the earth when the sun comes up. Your Word and truth are dependable as ever; that's what you ordered -- you set the earth going. If your revelation hadn't delighted me so, I would have given up when the hard times came. But 'll never forget the advice you gave me; you saved my life with those wise words. Save me! I'm all yours."

What was different that time? I'll never know till I get to the other side and ask.

But I'll be able to ask because of Him. He saved me. I'm all his. This time.