Wednesday, March 3, 2010

What do we say?

This is a difficult one to write because what I try to do with everything I write is to simply find the hope in the hopeless. Sometimes that's harder to do that other times.

The news out there today that interests me but keeps me from writing about other things is the recent rash (is two a rash, I'm not sure) of suicides of the famous.

February was a month plagued by celebrity suicide. Former "Growing Pains" actor 41-year-old Andrew Koenig, 40-year-old fashion designer Alexander McQueen and Michael Blosil the teenage son of singer Marie Osmond all took their lives within weeks of each other.

Andrew Koenig may be best remembered for his role on the 1980s sitcom "Growing Pains," but his more lasting contribution may be lifting the lid off depression.
(Courtesy his father, Walter Koenig). Yet in between the vigils and TV coverage of the deaths, were the standard (and almost incongruous) commercials for antidepressants, promising relief.

In a country where antidepressant use is booming and suicide rates have barely budged, experts say science is still just trying to find the basic answer to how antidepressants work.

Do you realize that suicides out-number homicides in this country?

Recently I received a call about someone who was threatening suicide. We did all the right things, I believe, and I continue to monitor the situation with near daily calls to the person on top of that person getting professional help, which I do not claim to be.

But it got me thinking, as does most things, what does a person of faith say to those who not only have lost their desire to live in some form or have lost or never had their faith?

Does telling someone what Jesus did for us do the trick? I think not. In some ways it only pushes the fog of depression on to the other even moreso. In other words, "Well, if Jesus did that for you, why won't he for me? There must be something wrong with me."

I've found that despite my best wishes and strongest desires, the thing I can do, the only thing I can do, is listen in those situations. It is not my first thought. I figure I can talk my way thorough it all. I can not. I, with great effort, can liten. Often this is what the depressed needs most of all. They need a confidant, someone who can hear them, not just listen at that, but hear them.

Can we do that?

What does the Bible say about this?

In the process of writing this, I switched over for a quick google about what the Bible says about suicide. The first site I went to talks only about what the Bible says about suicide and eternal destination. I have to tell you, were I depressed enough to be having thoughts of my own demise, I wouldn't be in the mood to hear those conversations. Where is the hope there? Hope that this all has meaning or that whatever I can't control or change will one day indeed be controlled or changed? That's, I believe, what suicidal people are looking for, though I could be so far wrong.

A quick definition of depression is in order. Depression is a mental disorder where the person is in a low mood accompanied by low self-esteem and loss of interest in enjoyable activities. Depressive illness is generally not understood by those who have never been affected and can create varying responses from their friends and loved ones suffering from this weakening disorder. A mental illness of any kind frightens people and they often do not know how to react when faced with the problem themselves or with others. My mother used to say that anyone who was depressed obviously didn't have the joy of the Lord in them. I was depressed with that tact, I must say.

Trafficing in other sites brought me this, which I should have known: God is the author of life and it is his to take and his to give. It is no our's. I believe that with my inner being, but what does that say to those who are so down they want to end it?

In the end of my search, I find myself right back at the beginning. If being depressed and wanting to end suffering is the goal, if being depressed stems from loneliness and the feeling there is no one to talk to, if feeling a loss of control is what is the driving force in the feeling, there can be but one answer.

Jesus is my confidant. Jesus is my control. Jesus is my hope. Without him I have none of the above. I really don't. I can't fix myself, change myself, go on at all. He is my confidant. He is my friend. He is everything I have. I love my wife, my kids, my dogs (suddenly this is a country music song), but the love I have for Jesus is enough to sustain me when all else will fail.

Celebrity or not, that is what I must tell anyone who feels as if life is a losing proposition. It's not about getting right with God, for the fundamentalists. It's not about anti-depressent drugs for those who seek a more liberal way. King David, a man of God's own heart, wrote this: "When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer." If that isn't depression, what is it?

But God was there for him, and he was lifted out of that state.

All of this is about a savior who saves on this side of the River Jordan as well as the other side.

There but for the grace of God go I.

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