Control issues II

I have the title above because apparently I'm still having control issues and I'm still writing about them.

What are control issues?

Beats me, hence I have 'em.

But what I think it means is I want to take control of all things in my life. I've never been more mindful of this nor have I tried so hard to do it than in the month of moving that has been May.

I've tried to manipulate all things around me so that the move from home to parsonage would be a smooth one. I don't know what is wrong with that, to this minute, but apparently I've bullied and I've pushed and I've tried to get two contractors at two different houses to do my will and I'm exhausted and I'm whipped and I'm wrung out.

I see that I don't know how to relax and let people do their thing. I don't. I don't understand why everyone doesn't see deadline and commitments in the way I see them. i don't understand why everyone doesn't run on the schedule I run on. I don't see. PERIOD.

It take a lot to make me admit I'm wrong, I'm afraid. But I see that I'm wrong here. I do. Oh, maybe I don't see why I'm wrong about people making deadlines. But I see that I'm wrong in the APPROACH I've used in trying to MAKE them do my will.

Even Jesus understood that it wasn't his will that was important but God the Father's. I'm working on that every single day. Not MY will be done, but HIS. That's the important thing.

Ultimately it comes down to will. Whose will run your and my life? I'm desperately trying to give my will over today. But I'll pick it back up tomorrow. I'm that way, apparently. I'm a work in progress.

But God loves the challenge, does he not? He did with Peter who failed Christ miserably. And with Thomas who doubted the whole thing happened. With John and James who wanted to run things from throne-side seats. With Paul who wanted to kill everyone who disagreed with him. With dang near everyone.

If you're having control issues, know that you are not alone. It comes with the territory. All you can do is try. Try to give over you will today. This one day. Right now. Pray for help. You will receive it.

Know I'm doing the same thing.

Right.

Now.