THAT'S LIFE

We all have our times and our situations.

I had me one at the end of a pleasant week. I had a bad back weekend where the pain was more than I had pills for and I simply haven't slept since Friday and I have nothing strong enough to take the pain away till a week from Friday. When this happens, all I can do is hold on. I'm trying.

Then I had me a Katrina moment after reading a story in the paper. It's come to my attention that I have never grieved over what we lost with Hurricane Katrina. In taking training to help others with their recovery and grief, I began to understand that I never grieved myself. I've spent five years saying God simply wanted us to move. That can be a way of coping, but it isn't grieving. We didn't lose a house. We didn't flood. But we lost the closeness of our family, and now with grandchildren everywhere, we only see them by driving 60 miles instead of three. Because of Katrina. We had a wonderful contemporary service at the church I was serving, and we lost that. I was forced to move to the Northshore because of Katrina. In other words, my life was changed against my will. I wouldn't have the back trouble I have no without Katrina. My best friends would still be together with Katrina. I hate Hurricane Katrina. Hate it.

And speaking of contemporary services, I tried one at my present charge, in the evening on Sunday. It failed. After three weeks. For the first time since I've been in the ministry, nobody came. Nobody. I practiced for and hour on the guitar and wrote a second sermon and got the sanctuary switched around and prepared communion and nobody came. So I quit.

It all has me hurting, spinning, wondering. Lord of heaven and earth, help me this morning. Help me find myself again. Help me recover. Help me through the thousands of Katrina stories and through hearing contemporary music and wondering why I can't serve a church with folks who want to worship the way I do.

And let me quit feeling sorry for myself. The hurt is what the hurt is, physically and emotionally. I can't change either. Can't. So I must not try.

Ugh.