Here's the deal: I go hither and yon (just like writing that) to find new things to write about. You might have thought these things were just from the brilliance of my mind. You would be wrong. There is absolutely nothing brilliant about my mind at all. I'm absolutely sure about that.
But to find you a proper topic each morning, I must think. To think, I must drink ... er, coffee that is. One of the great losses we felt when we moved to Eunice, La., a couple or three months back was there is no Starbucks in this town. Though a recent travel magazine described our fair town as "one of the great unknown delights" in this country -- in the COUNTRY -- it has no Starbucks. No CCs. No PJs. Heck, even when we were in Israel we saw a Stars and Bucks. But nada in Eunice. I should open one on the side. Call it Billybucks or some such.
But after diligent research, we found a place called Cafe Mosiac. Wonderful name. Good coffee. Had a Bible Study there this morning. Talked about the Gospel of John's prelude. Wonderful group of men talking about what Jesus means to them.
And, uh, there was coffee. Good coffee. Vanilla latte coffee. Nice stuff. I came home rather early in the delightful morning and had, uh, more coffee.
So when I came across the following story, I was as pleasantly surprised as a man who discovers a couple thousand bucks in his pants pocket.
The story read, "Christine Hall didn’t join an expensive weight-loss program or sign up for a meal-delivery service to help her lose nearly 80 pounds. In fact, she never even goes to the grocery store. Instead, as she lost the weight over the last few years, almost everything she consumed has come from Starbucks. A law librarian with two jobs, she gets her meals from the Starbucks right near work, where employees have cheered on the 5-foot, 4-inch Hall as she’s gone from weighing 190 to a trim 114 pounds.
She eventually lost 40 pounds, enough to become an altruistic kidney donor in a 32-person kidney swap in November, 2010. She kept going, losing about two pounds a week at the beginning, and sometimes eating as little as 876 calories in a day."
In case you didn't read it all, it's a STARBUCKS diet.
I went to the gastro guy yesterday and got a good checkup. He kicked the tires, rotated a couple and said I might, uh, consider losing a bit of weight. The nurse before him mentioned something that I've heard of but not tried. I think she called it exercise or something like that.
But not once did they mention this new fangled diet thing. I think they wanted to cash in on the trend but hadn't invested just yet. They didn't let me know anything about it. I suspect they will.
Now, for me to go on the diet properly, apparently, I must go to a Starbucks, hence the name Starbucks diet. To do so I must invest in the $50 per gallon gasoline that is coming. But it will be worth it, I suspect, as I drop 50 pounds or so even as I go broke putting gas into the car. I must travel to either Lafayette or Lake Charles for my diet to work.
I can't wait to begin. There's a future for me. This might add 15 or 20 years to my life, not to mention keeping me awake for the trip back to Eunice.
I will even order multiple lattes while I'm there. I'm certain that will make me lose the weight even more quickly than one at a time. Perhaps even some whipped cream. Of course, the lattes will be of the skinny variety.
And I might order ...
Food? Oh, it's a food diet? The diet is about eating food at Starbucks?
Uh, they sell food at Starbucks?
Who knew?
No comments:
Post a Comment