Things you never want to hear said

It is a miserable day in the neighborhood. Rain, temps in the 30s, rain, temps in the 30s. Did I mention rain?

But through it all....

There's some, if not sunshine, at least maybe something to smile about.

Let's talk this morning about things you never want to hear:

 "Move a little closer to the rhino" -- Did you see the story about the animal guide in Africa who told the couple to "move a little closer to the rhino." The woman did. The rhino did, charge, from about two feet. The horn (of plenty big and dangerous) pierced her back and collapsed her lung.

"We're in a warming climate." -- The recent, rare snow in Jerusalem and parts of Lebanon, along with freezing temperatures for Southern California have not nixed the reality of climate change. The planet is warming, and chilled weather doesn't negate that fact, say climate experts. Did I mention that it's raining with temps in the 30s where I sit typing with cold fingers? Rain. Thirties.

"Some restrictions can be made." -- In the European Court of Human Rights, a ruling was made Monday that said freedom of religion is "an essential part of the identity of believers and one of the foundations of pluralistic, democratic societies." Sounds right. But the court went on to say, "However, where an individual's religious observance impinges on the rights of others, some restrictions can be made." Uh, you're free to believe whatever you want unless it is contrary to what I believe. Oh.

“It depends on what you like.” -- Never want to heard this when you ask the waiter for a recommendation.

"But I'm hot." -- Says the choir member who is the loudest of all in the church when the rest of the church is putting on blankets and finding their coats as the air conditioner blows on a mild day.

"There's no easy way to say this." -- Guess what? There's no easy way to hear it, either. This can precede any number of events, from you're about to get fired or your top employee is quitting on you to your biggest customer is bolting for your top competitor. It's all bad.

"You'd better sit down for this." -- See above.

"Can I have a word with you in private?" -- Not that good news is always delivered in public, but even when someone wants to chat with you about something innocuous, he won't say it like that. He'll opt for something like Where can we talk or You're not gonna believe what I heard. No good is ever coming from this.

"It will never work." This works in many ways in many places.

"Folks, We just lost one of our engines, but everything's going to be OK."-- I wouldn't have to worry about the crash, because my heart would quit at this sentence.

Finally, "Did you really mean to say that?" (substitute "write that" or "do that" and it is just as bad) Nothing good is ever coming from that question either.

Honorary sayings that need to be retired at once: "Got Milk?" "It is what it is." "Go with the flow." "OMG and LOL" "Git er done" "You go girl."

Any and all must, uh, go.