Friday, March 1, 2013

Let me listen today

Exploring the Proverbs this morning led me to a spring of cool, clear wisdom bubbling up with pure froth and energy.

In the 22nd Proverb, among a deep spring called 30 wise sayings, I read, "Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise;
apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the LordI teach you today, even you?"

I had a long conversation with a trusted and talented staffer at our church yesterday, and what we talked about was how to get closer to, deeper with, the Lord. We talked about how so many don't seem to see that as either a challenge or a necessity. And we talked about how that, after all this time, still puzzles us. We go to Bible studies to learn more about Him. I've been to retreats, to this and that, even to the Holy Land for one purpose: To know Him more. When I eat the bread and drink the wine, I do so to learn more, to be with Him more, to give depth to the shallows of my love of Christ.

Much of what I do is about seeking the Lord. I would love, above all things, to have him walk in and sit down in the chair opposite my old desk in the office (okay, okay he could have my chair), and have us talk a while. A long while.

Questions would abound, I'm afraid. I have so much I want to know. So much theology to be discussed. So much about grandparents I never met. Heck, about my birth parents and how that must have affected me, not knowing them. About siblings I don't know. About the life I never lived.

So much about how things work, or how things worked at one time and don't anymore. About the heavens, and the earth. Heaven. and Hell. About Jesus as a teenager. About Paul. And Mary. And what the heck happened to Joseph. About the law, and about hot-button topics that exist today and how He feels about them.

I would interview Him like I used to, waiting for the most wise of all answers, again, and again, and again.

But what I get most of the time, when I seek this closeness, this wisdom I'm afraid, is white noise. Some call it nothing. No sound. No talking. No intimacy. I talk way too much and I hear way too little. Sorry, that's just what I feel.

Mother Teresa, who knew this God I love well though she had her moments of doubt like the rest of us, once said, "Before you speak, it is necessary to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart."

So, I must listen differently. To be with God is the ultimate. To be with God and learn is sublime. To be with God and to hear him through the silence would be a wonder.

Oh, Lord, let me listen today.

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