I want to make an admission to my faithful readers. Last Friday I wrote a piece that explored, or at least I thought I was exploring, my feelings about how the UMC approaches things -- particularly the future.
I used figures and facts from my own experience, as I've always done in everything, and those facts and figures were not very flattering to churches I'm currently serving. I meant it as a call to arms for the church universal, not as a condemnation of those churches, which I love dearly.
The blog was met with hostility, and I immediately killed it -- something I've never done in 40 years of writing in either blogs or the old career of journalism -- because I treasure the person who was hurt by it. I rewrote and posted a much brighter look at the strength of God. Ironically, I had almost a 100 hits on the post Friday, but I have no way of knowing if it was one or the other or both that caused the surge in readers.
Again, not my intent to harm -- at all.
The blog went "viral" as they say, and some others in the church read it and were equally offended.
I've apologized at length, with no real affect. I say again, I'm sorry. It was never my intent to harm, hurt or hinder.
I simply thought it was time we take a real good look at the future of all churches, and do what we can to fix things. I was thinking primarily of the paperwork we do at this time of the year, paperwork that is hard to understand at best because it speaks in general terms about mission, vision and core values and doesn't really point us to a definite strategy. That frustrates me because as God is my witness all I desire to do in life is to bring people to Christ.
It has been said I'm too casual, irreverent, contemporary. That's possibly true, though I would disagree on irreverent because clearly that is in the eye of the beholder and my attempt at humor or being some sort of Rick Warren-lite might just be irreverent to someone else.
But I do believe that who you see (or read) on Sunday should be the same person you see (or read) on Monday-Saturday. I believe that the more you can make first-time visitors comfortable in the church, the more they might comes back. And nothing is more important that that to Jesus, I figure, having read about going in search of the one and leaving the 99 behind. When I played the video last week of Bad Worship (which featured singers doing parodies of worship songs) as a way to illustrate my point about how Paul's letter to Timothy that features some difficult language about how women were to worship in the new churches, that was it. I was told there is no room in worship for videos, and that was bad, really bad.
I could be wrong about any and all. I'm certainly not the go-to guy about any of the deep words of the faith, nor worship, nor prayer. I can do what I do, and if that's not liked at all, what then do I do.
I do I know I never wanted turmoil, and often wondered how any pastor can make it through that. All I know is I'm feeling I failed some people by not being what they need in their spiritual walk.
Again, if I've ever offended anyone in something I've written I apologize. I'm sorry we disagree. I'm even sorry I didn't connect what I was doing wrong in their eyes over the past year. I'm sorry I've done unintentional damage to the flock, and maybe even given a wrong impression to a casual reader. I love you all. I really, really do.
I was sitting here typing yesterday's blog, and I heard a song on Pandora from a group called Downhere (there's that contemporary thing again) that I had never heard.
The lyrics read:
What is a measure of a life well lived
if all I can offer seems too small to give
This is a song for the weaker, the poorer
And so-called failures
Little is much when God's in it
And no one can fathom the plans He holds
Little is much when God's in it
He changes the world with the seeds we sow
Little is much, little is much
Who feels tired and under-qualified
Who feels deserted, and hung out to dry
This is a song for the broken, the beat-up
And so-called losers
It was a God moment, God speaking to a very damaged, hurting, even remorseful heart. We all get that, I figure. We all have moments where we've been up at the top (dancing in the rain) and the bottom really falls out.
As someone once wrote, we're not perfect; we're just forgiven; the only difference in Christians and the world is that when we fall, we get back up. I know that God has forgiven my mistakes. Others, not so much. I love them all equally, though, and will continue to. Again, I merely ask for prayer for the church universal, for the churches I serve, for my family, and for those who do not know Christ at all. I live so that they might hear.
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