This morning on Yahoo news, I read that a Russian scientist says he has seen evidence of life on Venus. That is particularly surprising to me since I didn't think there were any more Russian scientists. Secondly, I wonder if the Ruskie scientists on Venus have seen evidence of life on Earth lately?
Headline writers get paid, as I well know, for their ability to capture the subject of the story in a few words. Such as, Joint committee investigates marijuana use. Or the headline, Blind woman gets kidney from father she hasn't seen in years. Or Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft.
That there's some good writing, Pawpaw.
Let's explore (from this weekend, heck just this morning) actual headlines:
Evicted 101-year-old Detroit woman can't go home. She's 101. She's homeless. I reckon there isn't a headline that reflects more of this world today that this one. By the way, why does identifying her city matter is she's HOMELSSS? Does Detroit have an abundance of 101 homeless folks? Really.
Or how about Parents reveal child's gender (he's a he. His father actually said this, "I want to avoid all that stereotyping. Stereotype's seem fundamentally stupid." I have used enormous willpower in order not to do a joke about stupid right here, right now. Enormous willpower. Sasha, the five-year-old whose gender had been kept secret all these years, hasn't commented on the stupidity of his/her parents, however, so she/he apparently has the same willpower, thus rendering my silent vigil less important. I guess that the quality of that headline is just behind the If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while. The may in the headline should be might if we're nit-picking gramatically. That's the only thing wrong with it, right? Parents reveal that if the child's gender isn't settled quickly, it might last a while would seem to be better, huh?
Or the headlines Six hurt in sweet 16 birthday party shooting. Were they shooting a party? Or the headline Ohio man allegedly ties up daughter, locks her in cage. See above notation about location being used in headline. Does being from Ohio have bearing on this father's incredible stupidity and tragic parenting skills? Are we saying Ohio folks are more likely to tied up daughters and lock them in cages? I've always felt that way, but I wasn't sure others did. If that's not the case, why isn't the fact that six are hurt in shooting in California important? Are we saying that if they had been tied up and locked away liked those dastardly kids in Ohio, there wouldn't be shooting? Just asking.
How about the actual entertainment driven sparkling headline, Heidi Klum 'to divorce' from Seal. Questions, questions. Why do we need to have Heidi's first name if Seal has no last name at all? Do we know Seal that much more than Heidi? Why is 'to divorce' in single quotations? I read the whole story (which I wouldn't have otherwise, by the way, so maybe that's the reason), and they really 'are divorcing.' They had been married. They are divorcing. So why do we need single quotations? I don't know even after investing ten long puzzled minutes exploring this. Ten minutes I won't be 'getting back' anytime soon. It then dawned on me. Would I care equally if Laurel, Miss. native Klum to divorce Hattiesburg's Maurice Seal was written on the Internet Yahoo front page this morning?
'Single quotations,' by the way, are 'very forceful,' don't you 'think?'
Here's the thing. We live in a world dominated not by substance or depth (the story itself, well-written, well-researched) but by fluff (the headline), that light-weight, quick hitting, quickly read story. CNN, which pioneered the long-report for its 24-hour news, also pioneered Headline News.
Our spiffy little world today is about quick bits of information. We no longer have a news cycle. Instead, our 24-hour news is built around bits. Twitter is driven by letters, not depth. Facebook, though not as shiny and quick as its competition, is still bursts of information so tiny that we can't even spell out the whole words. You becomes u, for goodness sakes.
In newspapers or .com blogs of substance, often the headline, the well-written headline, constructed by paid personnel who graduated from journalism school to learn the proper way to do this, makes all the difference in the world.
Some one's son, who made straight As at some such as Missouri School of Journalism, wrote this: Divers recover Madonna intact from shipwreck chapel. I swear they did. It's so beautiful I can't even come up with a proper comment.
I've often wondered why Jesus came to the world in a time when there were no Psalmists, no Springsteens to comment in song, where the news cycle, well, was of no importance because there was no Jerusalem Post or even Roman Journal, and the Internet was so far from imagination even the Pharisees hadn't written a law against its use on Sundays.
Why wouldn't God have wanted Jesus to come when the news could have been easily obtained. Huge headline on the back page of the Palestine tabloid stating
'BABY BORN IN BETHLEHEM
SAID TO BE 'SAVIOR OF WORLD'
Hymns celebrating
peace on earth available
when local shooting stops
Or
King's 'men' kill six
children under two
for reasons unknown
or even
Gender of wise trio revealed
by camels 'closest to them'
Notice the use of the singe quote? It's importance can't be 'overstated.'
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