This one is a mite personal, so forgive me or pray for me. Either way. When you've written a couple of books about the subject, it is pretty much a matter of public discourse, I guess.
I read a post last night that moved me to the plight of someone who feels they've been completely and utterly discriminated against, particularly by the church. I felt so much for that person, who wants only to feel what he does is completely and utterly normal. He wants what he wants, and he can't understand why someone would stand in his way.
Seventeen years ago, I felt pretty much the same way. What I did with my choices, with my body, was my business and my business alone. Why or how could someone else judge me who wasn't walking in my shoes? My family wasn't complaining, to my knowledge. My job wasn't being affected. Didn't the Bible say something about judging? I was fairly certain, though I hadn't been to church in a great deal more than a decade.
Then God struck, clear eyes discovered there was more to this life than the way I was living, the rules that I detested so much from what I remembered about scripture and such came back to me in a new, fresh, loving way instead of a rigid, terribly restrictive I can't live that way sort of thing.
I hid who I was from the church for a while. Only a few persons knew at work. I was living the anonymous life, like I thought I was supposed to, like everyone said I was. I began to read religious books left and right, read through the Bible from cover to cover like it was water to a very thirsty man. What I discovered was that if I told those around me who I was, they made it pretty clear I would be looked at differently. I actually read in one of the books from a writer I thought was very good as he described some folks in his church that one said of all his mistakes in life, "at least I'm not an alcoholic."
Well, I was. I am. I will always be. A sinner in need of a savior. A problem awaiting a solution. A mistake in need of some white-out.
Then I just gave up. Gave myself to a God who loved me exactly as I was, troubled and messed up as I was, though the only thing of Him I knew was what I had learned in a church that has great problems in accepting those who aren't perfect, at least in their minds. I had left "church" about the time I left high school, as far too many do.
I told everyone, first speaking at the church that we had accepted as home and been accepted as well. Then I wrote the book One Man, One Cross, which was about the struggles of an alcoholic's first year of sobriety. Millions keep this secret every day. I understand this. Thus, I understand the revelatory freedom of telling the world who you are, and who you're becoming by the grace of God.
A good man whispered to me the other night that we had "a mutual friend." I totally missed what he was saying till he said, "Bill W," meaning the founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous. He told me very few persons knew, and I was honored he chose to tell me. But my point in all this is that I really couldn't help who I was. I was a compulsive drinker. I was. If I was to take a drink today, I would be today. Nothing has changed except I don't commit the act which leads to sin. I believe it is genetic, but ALSO a choice. Does that mean God created me that way? Did environment help, hurt? Does that mean God created a defective creature? Does that mean...
Listen, I do well to figure out what my next move is each day. But this I think: I am a flawed creature because of the fall in the Garden, which I admit some don't even believe ever existed. I believe my flaws are no better or worse than any others, just different. However, there is a great, great difference in that there are few civil laws that restrict my very existence. Many of my ilk are living in shame and without hope, but unless they are driving under the influence, most of the time they aren't arrested. Perhaps that is something we seriously need to look at for other flawed creatures, equally sons and daughters of God, from a civil rights standpoint. But from a Jesus standpoint, instead of a religious one, instead of a church one, we have to deal with grace.
However, there is one very serious and great difference in my thinking and in the thinking of some of our citizens. I have not tried to rewrite the rules found in scripture to meet my needs or to change the way those rules could be interpreted. What is says, in context I admit freely, is what it says. No one on the planet, nor God Himself makes anyone believe what it says. But I don't believe it can be rewritten, and some are attempting to do so.
I know that some will cringe when they see I've once again admitted to a whole group of new readers my flaws. So be it. I don't think this message works without doing so.
I absolutely am certain of one thing, if we don't find a way to love each other, we will all, all fail together. I'm also absolutely certain that we have to go deeper into the New Testament for the rules that are most clearly stated this way in two things Jesus told us.
1) Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence (heart, mind and soul).' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set along side it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself." These commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them."
2) He told us that if we loved him, we would obey his commands, which seem to me to be those above.
I know He told us that he will bless those who are merciful, those who work for peace, and even those who hunger and thirst for justice. I also know he said that God will bless those when people mock them and persecute them and lie about them and say all sorts of evil things against them because they are one of his followers. He said things about divorce, which many Christians work around without repentance. I failed in that too, and repented and asked for sincere forgiveness. He said things about revenge. He said things about anger. He said things about giving to the needy, prayer, fasting, money and such. I've had to ask for forgiveness for all those things from time to time.
But as near as my studies show, Jesus had nothing to say about alcoholics or druggies that I can find, nor did he talk about homosexuality exactly, nor did he talk about pedophiles nor persons who wed a flock of folks or any of these other serious, serious topics. In fact, he didn't spend a whole lot of time condemning anyone or anything, rather taking much time to point out the rules the Pharisees were putting on persons were often cruel and misused. He did have something to say about loving each other. Therein lies the problem we all must face. How do we look at these things that lie in the gray areas of life, love and especially, apparently, sex?
How that plays out is what we're dealing with in the church, in the country, in the world. How do we love a group of people who refuse to believe in the manner we do, whether that be the Lesbian-Gay groups or Muslims or Mormons or Methodists or anyone who hates or feels they are superior to a race of people? How do we love those who condemn those on either side of the issue, whatever the issue? How do we really live out the love the sinner, hate the sin without falling into the judgment trap? Is it really judging if we state something to be sin when someone else says it is not? When will we decide who sets the rules, if ever? What do we do with the passage where Jesus said marriage was between a man and a woman? What do we do with Paul's writings about homosexuality? What do we do with our own sin?
How we answer these questions will help determine where we go from the chicken wars. I know I have few answers at times. I can read the pain between the words of some who wrote so deeply and passionately about this on both sides, and I grieve for their sincere feelings of pain. I do.
All I know is that 17 years ago I was one person; today, I'm a different one. I had very little to do with that change other than to say, "help" to a God I didn't believe in. It's possible to change, no matter what someone, what anyone says.
I know He loves. Our debate has always been about how do we do the same.
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